Facebook Page – Body Language, Hypnosis and NLP

Hello everyone.

I thought I’d just apologise for the lack of updates on this site.

There’s a very simple reason and that is I tend to post news stories, articles, videos, infographics etc, on my Facebook Page now – Click Here

Facebook PageCome on over and ‘Like’ the page and you’ll get a Notification when I post new material, which is regularly updated, I’ve posted around 5 things this week and more are scheduled.

Best regards

Robert

Body Language Course – It’s What You Don’t Say That Matters

Body Language Course 26th & 27th April 2014 Ashford, Kent. Easy access by road and train. “It’s What You Don’t Say That Matters” Is the title of my new book, which has sold more than 10,000 copies here in the UK. Now you can attend the course. Below are a few video clips covering just a fraction of what you’ll be learning of the weekend.

Here’s just some of what I’ll be covering throughout the two days:

1) Childhood Learning And Understanding

2) Left and Right Brain Processing

3) The Face, Eyes, Smiles, Mouth

4) Hands, Fingers, Arms, Legs and Foot signals

5) Presentations, Sales and Negotiation Strategies

6) Anchoring and Triggering Positive Emotions

7) Cultural Variations and Universal Expressions

8) Territory, Property, Angles and Distance

9) Sales Presentation and Negotiation Strategies

10) Hypnotic Handshake Inductions for Therapy

The results of learning this material are way to many to mention but here’s a sample of just what it can do for you:

1) If you are in sales it will help you determine the time wasters from the real prospects building long term relationships with clients who want to do business with you

2) If you are a manager it will help you understand your staff better, which gives you more control over your team and enables you to know who is the best person for job.

3) If you are the boss of your own Company learn how to run excellent interviews, do appraisals that count and take presentations to the next level.

4) If you are a therapist learn how to understand the emotional states your clients go through during your sessions.

5) Learn how to build rapport at an unconscious level by using your body language and respond appropriately to any situation.

6) Learn about YODA: You, Observe, Decode and Adapt.

7) Learn the PIN Code, a system for navigating through any interaction and understanding what’s going on, when.

I know it’s a tough time financially for many people so I’ve kept the cost as low as I can and to help anyone feeling the pinch you now have a choice of two payment methods.

http://robertphipps.com/latest/body-language-course.html

Here’s some Testimonials from the last one in Coventry:
I found the course really intesting from therapist point of view. I did learn a lot which I’ve now applied to my therepy business.
Dear Robert,

Thank you very much for the wonderful weekend in Coventry. I never thought that learning can be so much fun!

After finishing my masters degree I wanted to reward myself with something that I will remember for ever and thanks to your seminar, I definitely managed to do that. I thought it will be hard to listen and pay attention all weekend but your teaching style is so easy to digest with all the funny but useful examples that I feel I have learned so much and hopefully will be able to use it as well.

To test our knowledge and sum up what we have learned from you, we had a good gossip with Kate about all our observations on the way back to London.

Thank you for making my weekend so enjoyable. It was very nice to meet you and I hope we will see each other again.

Best wishes, Ildi

Robert was a great presenter full of great stories and information. I would recommend this course to anyone with an interest in body langauge. The 2 days seemed to fly by which was due to the fun and great content of the workshop. 10/10 !!!

Adam Cowming

Robert gave the theory of the background of body language to start with and then we got into the practical side of things which was great fun.
I have always loved reading and now that I can read people, my hobby has become even more interesting. The world is one big library thanks to Robert Phipps
Elaine Neous

Here’s some book reviews taken from the Amazon page, imagine how much you can learn over two days?

“I have just finished reading ‘Body Language, It’s what you don’t say that matters’….
Wow.. what can I say, this is a truely enlightening book!

Over the past few years I have been looking to gain knowledge on the subject of body language and have spent much time reading books related to it but none of which have even come close to this book by Robert Phipps, he certainly knows the subject well and puts his knowledge of it across perfectly….. I just couldnt put it down!! Its amazing to think that in the past two days I have felt more in control….. Yes, I gained ALL that from a book!

You HAVE to read this! :-)” Abergirl

“Forget the ‘also rans’ in this genre, ‘Body Language’is a winner by a mile. Unlike some of the other books written about body language, which can quickly become tedious, Robert Phipps has a writing style that holds your attention from start to finish. The book covers all you need to know on the subject in a clear concise way which I personally couldn’t fault. Excellent stuff” Needlzz

“Really interesting read, it’s impossible to put down once you start. It takes ‘people watching’ to a new level and is also a great tool if you come in to contact with people in your job. There is so much value in being able to know what people are feeling or thinking without them having to say it to you out loud. This book will really change how you look at everything, your life and just as importantly how you look at other people too. Brilliant book, congrats to the author.” – Mark Stewart

“I bought this for my husband for Christmas, and then read it myself. This is a great way to learn about body language, whilst applying it to different scenarios. Very well explained and particularly useful in a sales context. It isn’t long winded, and is an easy read. Most books on body language don’t go as far as to help understand how useful it can be (or not) in home/work life situations.” – Mirandag

“Mobile technology and email have shrunk the size of the world. A lot of business is now conducted at arm’s length and remotely, diminishing our face-to-face communications skills. Whilst it is now technically possible to pull off a big deal with a huge multinational, sitting home alone in our pyjamas, when that deal starts to go off course, genuine face time counts. Understanding body language is the key unlocking a secret code, exposing the thoughts, plans and actions of our fellow human beings. This insight is crucial in business and in all human relationships.

This book addresses these and many other matters on relating to ‘reading’ people and rekindling these basic human skills which have been lost in the technological age. Robert Phipps has written a superb book which should be essential reading for anyone in business or who wants to know what is really going on behind the mask.” – Moose Papoose

“I could not put it down. I can only say that this book will change your whole life and the way you look at your fellow man and woman.
Ideal for all who come into contact with others and want to read them even without hearing what the say. Enjoy.” – Bear

“A compelling read, I couldn’t put it down! The very first paragraph gets you thinking and that doesn’t stop all the way through this fantastic book! Robert gets you to think about what you do, what you see, what you think… everything.. and in a really friendly, informative way. It’s almost as though he was there in the room with you, having a chat.

This fascinating book is well laid out, with just the right amount of information interspersed with exercises, case histories, stories and great pictures, and the summaries at the end of each chapter bring it all together.

The exercises in the book are a helpful way to really understand the techniques and approaches, and are most interesting in what they show you about yourself and others)

I loved the PIN code especially… it takes ‘people watching’ to another level and helps bring together what you have learned through the book. I doubt I will ever be bored again waiting for train or in a really dull meeting, as there will always be something to look for now.

The ideal book to carry around with you!” – Pinkwaffles
There are only 20 places available on this weekend so reserve yours and book now.

Click Here – http://robertphipps.com/latest/body-language-course.html

 

 

Micro Expressions and Gut Feelings

Micro Expressions and gut feelings
Micro expressions are brief and involuntary muscle movements within the face. They last less than a second and it’s why many people have difficulty in noticing them. You probably know the feeling when you just know that somebody is not telling the truth. What we perceive in such situations is coming more from our gut feeling, and therefor not evidence-based, that the person is not really saying what they are thinking. This is an intuitive feeling that the person is somehow contradicting her words with what is happening on her face. If you would learn how to read micro expressions, you can identify more precisely which emotions they are displaying.

Can we control micro expressions?
The muscle movements of our face contract involuntary when we experience emotions. Most people cannot control those subtle movements. Good poker players are able to suppress showing emotions, but you can notice a difference on the face when the person is just displaying a natural, neutral face or a poker face. When someone is showing a poker face it means that there is something he wants to hide and you can observe them more closely until he finally reveals some signs on the face or through his body language. There is always a difference between not showing emotions because you don’t feel them and showing a poker face.

Some people are more aware about the impression they can give by trying to mask one emotion with the other one. Shy people smile to cover uncertainty and fear. They want to look relaxed and create a better rapport. However an artificial smile has a different meaning than a real, authentic smile and they don’t get the same answer. Even a dog can see when the smile is fake and starts barking because for him this is an indication of showing teeth in aggression. In certain situations people try to show surprise instead of the fear which they feel. An afraid open mouth is easy to cover with a surprised open mouth. Nevertheless, the stimulus to mask surprise often comes after you have already experienced fear and after training in Micro Expressions Training Videos you can notice these exact moments on the face.

There is more…
When you try to fake emotions they will appear on your face later than when you really feel them. Experiencing real emotions first means you show them spontaneously, then you react verbally. Faking emotion looks like a movie in slower speed, it takes longer to imitate them. Good actors are not faking emotions but really experience the role they are playing, that’s why they seem to be so real. And then there are of course people who just don’t feel and/or don’t show strong emotions at all. To know in which category someone fits, and to know how to interpret what you are seeing (or not seeing), is a skill that requires experience. It the same with training muscles. Training how to read micro expressions is like going to the emotional intelligence fitness. The more you do it, the better you become at it.

Fancy doing a free micro expressions test to see just how good you are at detecting them?

Click Here

Courtesy of Kasia Wezowski Micro Expressions TV

Body Language Course – It’s What You Don’t Say That Matters

 Body Language Course with Robert PhippsYour body language matters!

Whether it’s getting a job or getting a pay rise, from losing a sales opportunity to managing the people around you, the Non verbal communication makes a big difference.

Robert Phipps, one of the world′s leading body language experts shows you how to make it work for you. Busting some of the biggest body language myths, Phipps shows how to read other people′s body language and to use yours to succeed in business and life.

Join Robert for this unique opportunity to discover how to make your body language work for you in social situations, business dealings and all manner of other everyday encounters.

10th & 11th November, Ramada Jarvis Hotel, The Butts, Coventry.

Here’s just a fraction of what I’ll be covering throughout the two days:

1) Childhood Learning And Understanding

2) Left and Right Brain Processing

3) The Face, Eyes, Smiles, Mouth

4) Hands, Fingers, Arms, Legs and Foot signals

5) Presentations, Sales and Negotiation Strategies

6) Anchoring and Triggering Positive Emotions

7) Cultural Variations And Universal Expressions

8) Territory, Property, Angles and Distance

9) Sales Presentation and Negotiation Strategies

10) Hypnotic Handshake Inductions and Therapy

The results of learning this material are way to many to mention but here’s a sample of just what it can do for you:

1) If you are in sales it will help you determine the time wasters from the real prospects building long term relationships with clients who want to do business with you

2) If you are a manager it will help you understand your staff better, which gives you more control over your team and enables you to know who is the best person for job.

3) If you are the boss of your own Company learn how to interviews, do appraisals that count and presentations to the next level

4) If you are a therapist learn to understand the emotional states your clients go through during your sessions.

5) Learn how to build rapport at an unconscious level by using your body language and respond appropriately to any situation.

6) Learn about YODA, You, Observe, Decode and Adapt.

7) Learn my unique PIN Code, a system for navigating through any interaction and understanding what’s going on, when.

I know it’s a tough time financially for many people so I’ve kept the cost as low as I can and to help anyone feeling the pinch you now have a choice of two payment options.

Pay now in full 

Number of persons

Option 2:

Click the button below and pay “Non Refundable” deposit of just £50 and pay the balance when you arrive on the day, cash only please no cheques will be accepted.

 

The Body of Evidence – Are you Sitting Comfortably?

Chapter 1 – The Body of Evidence

Are you Sitting Comfortably?

Are you aware of the expression on your face right now? Are you aware of how you’re sitting or standing, or who and what is around you?

Probably not – until I asked the question and your brain went to do a little check, or you had a look round.

Most people are oblivious, most of the time, to what their body is doing.

If you are one of these people, you’ll be unaware just how much your body tells others about you. About your moods, emotions and attitudes.

These body movements, signals and gestures, are forms of Non Verbal communication or what we commonly refer to as “Body Language”.

In business, being aware of and understanding this subject, can dramatically change people’s perceptions of you – and consequently the results you achieve.

This book takes you through everyday business situations, pointing out what to observe, what to do with what you see, and how to turn it to your advantage.

I start right at the beginning with what body language is, and then take you through greetings, meetings, presenting, selling, negotiating, managing, leading and all the other key areas you need to understand in your business to make the best decisions, and be successful.

Over the course of this book, I’ll cover all of the situations and common behaviours, just as you would encounter them in your business and your personal life. By the end, you’ll be an expert at interpreting what body language means in different situations, and you’ll have a range of techniques and approaches to deal with the people depending on the signals you see them exhibiting.

 Body Language and the Unconscious

Body language is everywhere. We are all affected by it through our interactions with family, friends, colleagues, shop and restaurant staff, Government officials like police and traffic wardens. They all send us silent messages that tell us things about them, their job and how they feel.

We can all remember certain characteristics about people we’ve come into contact with throughout our lives: a particular teacher who had a funny walk when you were knee high to a grasshopper; a friend who always had their hands tucked up their sleeves when you were a teenager; or that bloody woman who kept clicking her pen at a meeting and annoying the hell out of you as you were trying to speak.

And, whether we like it or not we all react to these Non Verbal messages. Sometimes we think about them consciously, other times we don’t.

Just because we don’t consciously think about them doesn’t mean they don’t have an effect on us!

Think for a moment about power and status. You walk in to just about any Foreign Embassy anywhere in the World (if you’ve not been in one then I’m sure you’ve seen them in films or on TV). What are you immediately greeted with? Usually the first things you see are the flags. At least one, if not several, huge flags right smack bang in front of you as you enter the building, and then dozens of others of varying sizes dotted around the place. Often you’ll see the country’s emblem on pictures of beautiful places. You’ll see people in smart military uniforms or other security staff.

Then there’s other things like security gates, car parking spaces marked for ‘Visitors’, others marked out especially for the important people who work in the building who may have their own names, initials or titles painted on their space, or, if they’re really going for it, their own little etched plastic sign.

Why is all this there?

Simple, it’s there to send everyone Non Verbal messages. It’s telling you, without it actually needing to be said or written down:

“You are entering officialdom. Enter at your own risk because once you are inside, we can do anything we like and you know it. We can choose to grant you a Visa, or throw you in jail, or we could just be really nice and give you cups of tea and posh biscuits. We are all-powerful and strong. We are part of the Government.”

OK so I’m exaggerating, but you get the point.

We’ve grown up with Non Verbal messages all throughout our lives.

We learn them from the people we’ve met, especially from people we view as important to us, or have an influence on our lives; Parents, grandparents, siblings, extended family, friends, teachers, sports coaches, Cubs, Brownie, Guides leaders, etc.

We learn as we grow up from all the different people we meet, the situations and circumstances we’ve been in, and the results of those interactions. Sometimes we take it in at a conscious level, sometimes it’s totally unconscious.

Well guess what?

Your own Non Verbal communication is both conscious and unconscious too.

Sometimes you know exactly what you’re doing and have free choice. Other times you haven’t got a clue, you’re not even aware of the signals you’re sending out. But just because you’re unaware of them, doesn’t mean others haven’t picked them up.

In fact most of what you do with your body is completely unconscious most of the time. Micro expressions flash across your face in less than half a second, but that’s enough for someone to realise things are not what they seem.

Hopefully as you read through each chapter you’ll start to notice the world around you more. You’ll start to pick up on the Non Verbal messages you get sent day-in, day-out by people and places. You’ll understand that Non Verbal communication is not just about physical body movements, signals and gestures. It’s all that and much more.

 

Body language has taken over!

Unfortunately, the term ‘body language’ has become the sweeping name for all Non Verbal communication. The problem with that is that most people interpret it as applying only physical body movements.

You don’t hear people say, “Did you see his/her Non Verbal communication?” No, instead they say, “Did you see his/her body language?” It basically means the same thing, although it’s a more limited expression.

Pick up just about any national newspaper when there’s a big story on, and somewhere in the column inches you’ll find a reference to the person’s body language. If not directly, then indirectly:

“They left the Magistrates Court with their head down to avoid eye contact with the waiting press”.

“She was all smiles as she walked confidently waving to the waiting crowd at the premier of her new film”.

Non Verbal communication is just as it sounds: unspoken messages that have meanings behind them. By systematically breaking down these messages you will learn to read people and situations better, improve the results you achieve and benefit from the ability to decode what is really going on around you.

So from here on in I’m going to be talking about Body Language but I’ll actually be taking its wider definition, and going through all the different elements this covers. There are two main components:

Kinesics – The term anthropologist Ray Birdwhistle first used in 1952 for his studies on how people interact through their body signals, movements and gestures.

Proxemics – A term coined by anthropologist Edward T Hall back in 1966 referring to the study of distances between people interacting with each other.

By the time you get to the end of this book you’ll realise just how much actually comes under the heading Body Language.

To read a 57 page sample pop over to Amazon

Amazon UK 

Amazon USA

p

The Body of Evidence – Are you Sitting Comfortably?

Chapter 1 – The Body of Evidence

Are you Sitting Comfortably?

Are you aware of the expression on your face right now? Are you aware of how you’re sitting or standing, or who and what is around you?

Probably not – until I asked the question and your brain went to do a little check, or you had a look round.

Most people are oblivious, most of the time, to what their body is doing.

If you are one of these people, you’ll be unaware just how much your body tells others about you. About your moods, emotions and attitudes.

These body movements, signals and gestures, are forms of Non Verbal communication or what we commonly refer to as “Body Language”.

In business, being aware of and understanding this subject, can dramatically change people’s perceptions of you – and consequently the results you achieve.

This book takes you through everyday business situations, pointing out what to observe, what to do with what you see, and how to turn it to your advantage.

I start right at the beginning with what body language is, and then take you through greetings, meetings, presenting, selling, negotiating, managing, leading and all the other key areas you need to understand in your business to make the best decisions, and be successful.

Over the course of this book, I’ll cover all of the situations and common behaviours, just as you would encounter them in your business and your personal life. By the end, you’ll be an expert at interpreting what body language means in different situations, and you’ll have a range of techniques and approaches to deal with the people depending on the signals you see them exhibiting.

 Body Language and the Unconscious

Body language is everywhere. We are all affected by it through our interactions with family, friends, colleagues, shop and restaurant staff, Government officials like police and traffic wardens. They all send us silent messages that tell us things about them, their job and how they feel.

We can all remember certain characteristics about people we’ve come into contact with throughout our lives: a particular teacher who had a funny walk when you were knee high to a grasshopper; a friend who always had their hands tucked up their sleeves when you were a teenager; or that bloody woman who kept clicking her pen at a meeting and annoying the hell out of you as you were trying to speak.

And, whether we like it or not we all react to these Non Verbal messages. Sometimes we think about them consciously, other times we don’t.

Just because we don’t consciously think about them doesn’t mean they don’t have an effect on us!

Think for a moment about power and status. You walk in to just about any Foreign Embassy anywhere in the World (if you’ve not been in one then I’m sure you’ve seen them in films or on TV). What are you immediately greeted with? Usually the first things you see are the flags. At least one, if not several, huge flags right smack bang in front of you as you enter the building, and then dozens of others of varying sizes dotted around the place. Often you’ll see the country’s emblem on pictures of beautiful places. You’ll see people in smart military uniforms or other security staff.

Then there’s other things like security gates, car parking spaces marked for ‘Visitors’, others marked out especially for the important people who work in the building who may have their own names, initials or titles painted on their space, or, if they’re really going for it, their own little etched plastic sign.

Why is all this there?

Simple, it’s there to send everyone Non Verbal messages. It’s telling you, without it actually needing to be said or written down:

“You are entering officialdom. Enter at your own risk because once you are inside, we can do anything we like and you know it. We can choose to grant you a Visa, or throw you in jail, or we could just be really nice and give you cups of tea and posh biscuits. We are all-powerful and strong. We are part of the Government.”

OK so I’m exaggerating, but you get the point.

We’ve grown up with Non Verbal messages all throughout our lives.

We learn them from the people we’ve met, especially from people we view as important to us, or have an influence on our lives; Parents, grandparents, siblings, extended family, friends, teachers, sports coaches, Cubs, Brownie, Guides leaders, etc.

We learn as we grow up from all the different people we meet, the situations and circumstances we’ve been in, and the results of those interactions. Sometimes we take it in at a conscious level, sometimes it’s totally unconscious.

Well guess what?

Your own Non Verbal communication is both conscious and unconscious too.

Sometimes you know exactly what you’re doing and have free choice. Other times you haven’t got a clue, you’re not even aware of the signals you’re sending out. But just because you’re unaware of them, doesn’t mean others haven’t picked them up.

In fact most of what you do with your body is completely unconscious most of the time. Micro expressions flash across your face in less than half a second, but that’s enough for someone to realise things are not what they seem.

Hopefully as you read through each chapter you’ll start to notice the world around you more. You’ll start to pick up on the Non Verbal messages you get sent day-in, day-out by people and places. You’ll understand that Non Verbal communication is not just about physical body movements, signals and gestures. It’s all that and much more.

 

Body language has taken over!

Unfortunately, the term ‘body language’ has become the sweeping name for all Non Verbal communication. The problem with that is that most people interpret it as applying only physical body movements.

You don’t hear people say, “Did you see his/her Non Verbal communication?” No, instead they say, “Did you see his/her body language?” It basically means the same thing, although it’s a more limited expression.

Pick up just about any national newspaper when there’s a big story on, and somewhere in the column inches you’ll find a reference to the person’s body language. If not directly, then indirectly:

“They left the Magistrates Court with their head down to avoid eye contact with the waiting press”.

“She was all smiles as she walked confidently waving to the waiting crowd at the premier of her new film”.

Non Verbal communication is just as it sounds: unspoken messages that have meanings behind them. By systematically breaking down these messages you will learn to read people and situations better, improve the results you achieve and benefit from the ability to decode what is really going on around you.

So from here on in I’m going to be talking about Body Language but I’ll actually be taking its wider definition, and going through all the different elements this covers. There are two main components:

Kinesics – The term anthropologist Ray Birdwhistle first used in 1952 for his studies on how people interact through their body signals, movements and gestures.

Proxemics – A term coined by anthropologist Edward T Hall back in 1966 referring to the study of distances between people interacting with each other.

By the time you get to the end of this book you’ll realise just how much actually comes under the heading Body Language.

To read a 57 page sample pop over to Amazon

Amazon UK 

Amazon USA

p

The Body of Evidence – Are you Sitting Comfortably?

Chapter 1 – The Body of Evidence

Are you Sitting Comfortably?

Are you aware of the expression on your face right now? Are you aware of how you’re sitting or standing, or who and what is around you?

Probably not – until I asked the question and your brain went to do a little check, or you had a look round.

Most people are oblivious, most of the time, to what their body is doing.

If you are one of these people, you’ll be unaware just how much your body tells others about you. About your moods, emotions and attitudes.

These body movements, signals and gestures, are forms of Non Verbal communication or what we commonly refer to as “Body Language”.

In business, being aware of and understanding this subject, can dramatically change people’s perceptions of you – and consequently the results you achieve.

This book takes you through everyday business situations, pointing out what to observe, what to do with what you see, and how to turn it to your advantage.

I start right at the beginning with what body language is, and then take you through greetings, meetings, presenting, selling, negotiating, managing, leading and all the other key areas you need to understand in your business to make the best decisions, and be successful.

Over the course of this book, I’ll cover all of the situations and common behaviours, just as you would encounter them in your business and your personal life. By the end, you’ll be an expert at interpreting what body language means in different situations, and you’ll have a range of techniques and approaches to deal with the people depending on the signals you see them exhibiting.

 Body Language and the Unconscious

Body language is everywhere. We are all affected by it through our interactions with family, friends, colleagues, shop and restaurant staff, Government officials like police and traffic wardens. They all send us silent messages that tell us things about them, their job and how they feel.

We can all remember certain characteristics about people we’ve come into contact with throughout our lives: a particular teacher who had a funny walk when you were knee high to a grasshopper; a friend who always had their hands tucked up their sleeves when you were a teenager; or that bloody woman who kept clicking her pen at a meeting and annoying the hell out of you as you were trying to speak.

And, whether we like it or not we all react to these Non Verbal messages. Sometimes we think about them consciously, other times we don’t.

Just because we don’t consciously think about them doesn’t mean they don’t have an effect on us!

Think for a moment about power and status. You walk in to just about any Foreign Embassy anywhere in the World (if you’ve not been in one then I’m sure you’ve seen them in films or on TV). What are you immediately greeted with? Usually the first things you see are the flags. At least one, if not several, huge flags right smack bang in front of you as you enter the building, and then dozens of others of varying sizes dotted around the place. Often you’ll see the country’s emblem on pictures of beautiful places. You’ll see people in smart military uniforms or other security staff.

Then there’s other things like security gates, car parking spaces marked for ‘Visitors’, others marked out especially for the important people who work in the building who may have their own names, initials or titles painted on their space, or, if they’re really going for it, their own little etched plastic sign.

Why is all this there?

Simple, it’s there to send everyone Non Verbal messages. It’s telling you, without it actually needing to be said or written down:

“You are entering officialdom. Enter at your own risk because once you are inside, we can do anything we like and you know it. We can choose to grant you a Visa, or throw you in jail, or we could just be really nice and give you cups of tea and posh biscuits. We are all-powerful and strong. We are part of the Government.”

OK so I’m exaggerating, but you get the point.

We’ve grown up with Non Verbal messages all throughout our lives.

We learn them from the people we’ve met, especially from people we view as important to us, or have an influence on our lives; Parents, grandparents, siblings, extended family, friends, teachers, sports coaches, Cubs, Brownie, Guides leaders, etc.

We learn as we grow up from all the different people we meet, the situations and circumstances we’ve been in, and the results of those interactions. Sometimes we take it in at a conscious level, sometimes it’s totally unconscious.

Well guess what?

Your own Non Verbal communication is both conscious and unconscious too.

Sometimes you know exactly what you’re doing and have free choice. Other times you haven’t got a clue, you’re not even aware of the signals you’re sending out. But just because you’re unaware of them, doesn’t mean others haven’t picked them up.

In fact most of what you do with your body is completely unconscious most of the time. Micro expressions flash across your face in less than half a second, but that’s enough for someone to realise things are not what they seem.

Hopefully as you read through each chapter you’ll start to notice the world around you more. You’ll start to pick up on the Non Verbal messages you get sent day-in, day-out by people and places. You’ll understand that Non Verbal communication is not just about physical body movements, signals and gestures. It’s all that and much more.

 

Body language has taken over!

Unfortunately, the term ‘body language’ has become the sweeping name for all Non Verbal communication. The problem with that is that most people interpret it as applying only physical body movements.

You don’t hear people say, “Did you see his/her Non Verbal communication?” No, instead they say, “Did you see his/her body language?” It basically means the same thing, although it’s a more limited expression.

Pick up just about any national newspaper when there’s a big story on, and somewhere in the column inches you’ll find a reference to the person’s body language. If not directly, then indirectly:

“They left the Magistrates Court with their head down to avoid eye contact with the waiting press”.

“She was all smiles as she walked confidently waving to the waiting crowd at the premier of her new film”.

Non Verbal communication is just as it sounds: unspoken messages that have meanings behind them. By systematically breaking down these messages you will learn to read people and situations better, improve the results you achieve and benefit from the ability to decode what is really going on around you.

So from here on in I’m going to be talking about Body Language but I’ll actually be taking its wider definition, and going through all the different elements this covers. There are two main components:

Kinesics – The term anthropologist Ray Birdwhistle first used in 1952 for his studies on how people interact through their body signals, movements and gestures.

Proxemics – A term coined by anthropologist Edward T Hall back in 1966 referring to the study of distances between people interacting with each other.

By the time you get to the end of this book you’ll realise just how much actually comes under the heading Body Language.

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Body Language Mistakes That Male Leaders Make

Carol Kinsey Goman, Contributor Keynote speaker on body language and leadership.

Leadership  Body Language Mistakes that Male Leaders Make

There are two sets of body language cues that followers look for in their leaders: power/status/authority and warmth/empathy/likeability.

Power and status are non-verbally displayed in height and space. Men are taller and tend to expand into space (an example would be leaning back with hands behind head, elbows wide and legs loosely crossed in a “four” shape — a predominately male posture).

So, before uttering a word, male leaders already have the advantage over their female counterparts in projecting power and authority.

That’s a strength. But, like any strength, when overused or inappropriately used, it can become a liability. Power signals make male executives look like leaders.

Or at least they did in a hierarchical, command and control setting. But when it comes to leading collaborative teams and building high trust work environments, those same behaviors can undermine a leader’s efforts. After all, if you act like “the boss who has all the answers,” why would anyone else need – or dare – to contribute?

Adapted from “The Silent Language of Leaders: How Your ‘Body Language Can help – or – Hurt How You Lead,” here are the five body language mistakes that male leaders often make, and tips on how to avoid them:

1. They keep a “poker face.” A male leader’s ability to hold his emotions in check is viewed as an advantage in business negotiations. But that doesn’t mean that men shouldn’t allow their feelings to show in other professional situations. Tip: Whether you are promoting collaboration, building employee enthusiasm for a new corporate direction, or addressing the negative consequences of a major change, showing emotion is not only a good thing – it is a powerful leadership strategy.

2. They don’t listen. Or more specifically, they don’t look like they are listening. As a leader, the amount of eye contact you give is especially telling if you reserve it only for those whose opinion you agree with. Men are comfortable talking side-by-side, but women prefer face-to-face (eye-to-eye) encounters. In fact, women often cite a lack of eye contact as evidence that their male boss “doesn’t value my input.” Tip: Increasing your eye contact (and, most especially, making sure you are not just looking at some members of your team and ignoring others) will send signals of inclusiveness and warmth.

3. They lack empathy. Well, not exactly. While another person’s emotional pain activates mirror neurons (the “empathy” neurons) in both genders, a second system (the temporal-parietal junction, or TPJ) quickly takes over in the male brain. The TPJ in turn activates their “analyze-and-fix-it” circuits and leads men to immediately search for solutions, rather than understanding that sometimes people just need to be heard. Tip: The next time someone comes to you with an emotional problem, try being an empathetic sounding board rather than an executive problem solver.

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Body Language of Queen and Martin McGuinness

‘I’m still a Republican’: The body language surrounding the historic handshake

Little piece I did earlier today on Queenie and McGuinness handshake, there was more but hey ho.

 http://www.thejournal.ie/video-martin-mcguinness-the-queen-body-language-belfast-peter-robinson-501624-Jun2012/